Sex Lessons From Sarah, Part Two - Swiss Army Man
by cuddyclothes
Summary: Manny and "Sarah" spend time together, and things get out of hand. Hank can't deal with the gender confusion, and he's jealous of himself! "She's gone! She's never coming back!" Number 3 in the After Verse


_"God's nightgown!" said Scarlett to herself. "He looks as if he knew what I looked like without my shimmy!" To Cathleen, she said, "who is that nasty man downstairs named Rhett Butler?_ _  
_ _"My dear, don't you know? He isn't received!"_ _  
_ _Scarlett digested this in silence, for she had never before been under the same roof with anyone who was not received. It was very exciting._

Hank closed Gone With The Wind. "That's all the reading for today." He hefted the book. "This is gonna take weeks." He and Manny sat against a tall redwood. Light speckled through the leaves. A pool of sun illuminated some tiny light green baby pine trees growing out of the ground.

"No, Sarah! It's a good story!" Manny exclaimed. "What's 'received'?"

"It's—it's when polite society—people—aren't okay with you."

"So we're not received?"

"It's old fashioned...uh...no, we're not."

"Oh."

Hank dressed as Sarah when he read to Manny. Manny could read just fine. But he enjoyed being read to, and Hank enjoyed reading to him. Especially because Hank could try out funny voices and make Manny laugh. Sarah had a new wig, courtesy of a woman's red swimsuit, and a dress, courtesy of stealing a flowered sundress off a clothesline.

Some nights Hank made sure Manny was comfortable inside their lean-to, and then went scavenging. He found great stuff in huge rubber garbage cans outside the mansions. When he was done, he spread out the garbage and tipped over the cans so the house dwellers would think it was raccoons. Getting there and back took forever, but that was all to the good.

The best was when he found chocolate. He loved Manny sucking his fingers. If Manny thought Hank grinding against his leg was sex, that was okay.

It was growing dark. Their neighbors, the Plunketts, watched over them, as did their dog, Fofo, who was made from plastic water bottles. The Waltons on the other side weren't so nice, so Hank didn't make them a dog. The guard, who had KEEP OUT carved into his chest, had gotten steadily sterner looking. Hank decorated him with deer antlers and a necklace made of raccoon teeth.

"Sarah?"

"Yeah?"

Manny had a dreamy look on his face as his eyes met Hank's. "I don't care what other people think. You're so beautiful."

Hank ducked his head and smiled. "Thank you, Manny." He knew he was beautiful. He had never been beautiful before. He brushed a stray strand of wig out of his face.

"You make me happy. When you read to me, it's like the wind in my hair."

Hank's heart started pounding. He felt a wave of affection for his very own dead guy. "Does—does Hank make you happy?" _If he doesn't say yes I'll just wanna die._

"Yeah." Manny smiled, showing slightly yellow teeth. "Happy. You both make me happy. But I can't figure out why."

Hank took Manny's hand between his. "You make me happy. Why think about it?" In reality, Hank wasn't so sure he wanted to explain that he and Sarah were the same person. _He must know it on some level._ He'd flashed the image of Hank _and_ Sarah into Hank's head the terrible night the bear attacked him. Fortunately Manny had stopped flashing things into Hank's head after they ran away.

"Because I love you, Sarah. And I love Hank. Is it okay to love two people the same at once?"

Hank was having trouble breathing. He lifted Manny's hand to his lips and kissed it. "Yeah. I guess."

"Good. Cause I do."

Something shattered inside of Hank, falling away like leaves. All of his protective layers were gone, all of his doubt, all gone. He shifted closer to Manny, and kissed him. Manny closed his eyes and slid his tongue into Hank's mouth. When they disengaged, Manny whispered, "I love you, Sarah."

"I love you," Hank whispered back. They kissed, Hank holding Manny close to his own body. Manny could move enough to drop his arms around Hank, and Hank pulled them tighter. They kissed, long and languorously. Hank thought he would faint from all of the emotion swirling around him, his bones melting. Hank was different as Sarah, she wasn't inhibited, she wasn't ashamed of herself, she wasn't afraid to caress and touch. She kissed Manny tenderly on each temple, on the neck, as Manny made little happy breaths, and said her name. Her fingers explored his body underneath his torn blue jacket, feeling the slender chest and waist under the worn fabric of his shirt, lightly rubbing his chest.

"That feels good," Manny said.

"I know." Sarah shifted Manny upward so that he was sitting taller than she was, holding on to his sides. Clumsily, she lifted his arms and dropped them on her shoulders. Sarah rubbed her face against his abdomen and kissed his shirt.

"Don't stop, Sarah, don't stop," Manny gasped.

Sarah lost her balance and fell backwards, her back thumping against the ground, Manny landing on top of her. Deliriously, she grabbed his face and kissed him so hard it almost hurt her mouth. Now they were kissing passionately, it was overwhelming, she was giddy, she couldn't help herself, she slid her legs open and—

"Can I put my penis in you?"

 _Oh god._

Hank bucked Manny off onto the ground and snatched off the wig.

"Sarah! Why did you stop?"

"She left. You went too far."

Manny's face twisted into a mask of sadness. "What did I do? Should I not have talked about my penis?"

Hank scrambled to his feet and backed away. "No! You shouldn't! And you—you did things that were wrong. I don't know! She left!" His face stung, his ears were hot as flames with blushing. _Oh god I'm so ashamed I'm a sack of shit what is wrong with me_

"NO!" Tears started flowing down Manny's face. "No! Why? It isn't fair, I had her, she was MINE, and she's gone?" He lay on the ground, squinting against his tears.

"You'll just have to get over it!" The blood sang in Hank's ears. _You're a loser weirdo who dresses like a girl because you're not a real man_ _ **a real man doesn't think he was a girl you sick fuck**_

"But the whole point of living is love, isn't it? What's the point if you don't have love? I had love!"

Hank was torn with jealousy. "She's gone, Manny! She's never coming back!"

"NO! NO!" Manny's head lolled sideways towards Hank's feet.

"Screw you!" Hank yelled. "She's gone, and you can lie there and rot! Dammit, Manny, what's the matter with you?"

The only sounds were Manny's sobs and the breeze rustling the leaves. Hank didn't know what to do. He was fucking crazy. _Fucking retarded. Don't say that word I deserve it you're retarded_

He stomped back to their lean-to and threw the wig on the ground. He rubbed his face. Why had he run off with Manny anyway? If he was back in civilization, maybe they'd allow him to become a productive member of society. He could find another girl, talk to her, do normal things like watch Netflix and eat ice cream sundaes. He wouldn't dig around in garbage cans like a raccoon.

 _Oh, god._ He didn't hear Manny crying any more. His heart stopped.

He plunged back through the woods to where Manny was lying by the redwood. "Manny! Manny?" _Please don't be dead, you motherfucker, I forbid you to be dead._

Manny looked up at him. "I don't know what to do, Hank."

Hank pulled Manny up and held him. "It's okay, buddy. It's okay."

Hank had told Manny that having _their_ Sarah would be confusing. He just hadn't considered how confusing it would be.


End file.
